void
nullified
avoid
big giant gaping
hole
fill it with some spakel and some putty
fill it
become
whole...
forget, forgo, forgone
patchitup sealitup, plugitup, stopitup
NO!
no more, no where, nothing ventured nothing gained
check.
Find some stuffing, find some filler
keeping busy, keep on slugging, keep on crying, keep on dying, keep on keepon keep on smiling
don't stop thinking
don't
stop thinking
don't stop
thinking...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
escape route
As much as I love my home and the beauty of it, I need to escape, I need to get out, there's a great big world and I need to see it. I went to New York City a few years ago, and while I could never live there, I've been aching to get back ever since.
In New York I got to go to central park, to the Metropolitan Museum of art, it's a very strange and wonderful feeling to see things in person that you've always heard about, to see a painting in a wall that you've read about in your text book... it's thrilling.
New York isn't the only place to see though. I grew up watching quite a few travel shows, I loved my history classes, I hear about things, places, customs, I want to see them. I want to learn, I want to know.
There is so much to see, so much that people have created, so much that I want to create. I can no longer be content just hearing of things, reading of things, seeing the pictures.
So my friends, I will be off to see the world, as soon as I have the money. Should you care to contribute, let me know.
In New York I got to go to central park, to the Metropolitan Museum of art, it's a very strange and wonderful feeling to see things in person that you've always heard about, to see a painting in a wall that you've read about in your text book... it's thrilling.
New York isn't the only place to see though. I grew up watching quite a few travel shows, I loved my history classes, I hear about things, places, customs, I want to see them. I want to learn, I want to know.
There is so much to see, so much that people have created, so much that I want to create. I can no longer be content just hearing of things, reading of things, seeing the pictures.
So my friends, I will be off to see the world, as soon as I have the money. Should you care to contribute, let me know.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
What I believe
I am doubtful that this blog gets read, but on the odd chance that there is someone out there reading this, this is what I believe.
I believe that there is a God, whether you call him that or Allah or some other name; I believe that there is a God and that he loves us. I believe that God made the world, all it's inhabitants and so much more, I do not believe that all this came about by chance, it is all to much to have been left to chance. I believe that my actions have an impact on others, whether I realize it at the time or not. I believe that there is more after this life and that there was more before this life. I believe that if I am faithful and honor my covenants with God, that I can be together with my family forever. I believe that there is a prophet on this earth who receives revelation from God. I believe that a God who spoke to prophets in the olden days would not merely abandon his children now. These are things I believe, they are not all that I believe but they are some of the fundamental items. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or Mormons as we are sometimes known. You don't have to believe these things, but you might be surprised how much better they could make your life. If you are interested in learning more, click here
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
A smile
According to the musical Annie, one is never dressed without one's smile. Another quote a friend of mine is fond of is "Never frown because you never know who may be falling in love with your smile." While these sentiments are a tad cheesy, they also contain a certian amount of truth, I know many people who have remarked that they have been cheered when seeing the smiling face of an acquaintance. I know that I was also so cheered today when I was enthusiastically greeted by a friend on my way to campus. It's nice to think that someone starts smiling upon seeing you, and are even excited to have seen you. I don't know that I'm always smiling, it's easy to become preoccupied but I think I'm going to work on smiling much more. I do know from experience that it can lighten your mood, so why not smile?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Girl Friday
I have never read the story of Robinson Crusoe, but I have heard, or seen various versions of the story. Crusoe gets stranded on an island and make the best of it, he has a native assistant, his man Friday, that's my basic understanding.
Crusoe is not the only one to have "man Friday"s; an executive's assistant might be their 'man Friday,' I suppose in my mind it's come to mean someone who's depended upon for things but that is about the extent of the relationship.
I realized that to one of my friends I was a girl Friday, we weren't always but of late all our talk was pointless small talk, it seemed like a combatant of boredom on their side, only when it was convenient to them, when they had problems that needed solving etc.I slowly began to get sick of having the same pointless and obligatory conversations over and over and began to resent being a fall back. I was a girl Friday and I don't wish to be that. It's one thing to do the duties of a Friday when there is a true friendship or relationship, that is what people who care about each other do, but when it becomes a one sided endeavor one is a Friday and the other a Crusoe.
Crusoe is not the only one to have "man Friday"s; an executive's assistant might be their 'man Friday,' I suppose in my mind it's come to mean someone who's depended upon for things but that is about the extent of the relationship.
I realized that to one of my friends I was a girl Friday, we weren't always but of late all our talk was pointless small talk, it seemed like a combatant of boredom on their side, only when it was convenient to them, when they had problems that needed solving etc.I slowly began to get sick of having the same pointless and obligatory conversations over and over and began to resent being a fall back. I was a girl Friday and I don't wish to be that. It's one thing to do the duties of a Friday when there is a true friendship or relationship, that is what people who care about each other do, but when it becomes a one sided endeavor one is a Friday and the other a Crusoe.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
bable babble
I hear of or meet people who are able to speak six or so languages and it simply blows my mind, I have a hard enough time speaking my native language sometimes...or typing it. I am by no means fluent in any other language besides English, but I know enough of a few others to get me by if I had to.
I speak:
German; I took three years of German in middle school and high school, which left me at the 101 level when I took a semester in college. Yes, rather pathetic. At this point my grammar skills auf Deutsch are almost non existent, but if I'm around other German speakers I can usually remember a fair amount of vocabulary. I was told by one of my teachers that I had a very good accent and I think that helps a lot too. I know how to say the important things like "where's the bathroom?", "I love you", "where's the good chocolate?" and a drinking song or two to sing with some non alcoholic beverage.
ASL; also known as American Sign Language. Technically I don't speak it, no one does, we sign it. I've been interested in sign since I was a kid and I've wanted to learn for a long time, I thought about taking it for the language requirement in college but upon learning that it would take more classes to get the requirement in ASL than in other languages, I resorted to German; however, after my first semester of German, it didn't fit into my schedule and so I decided to go for ASL. I have LOVED ASL, though I am by no means fluent, I almost feel that I can express myself better in sign than it English. I took five semesters of ASL, all that was offered at my school and got the language requirement. I'm probably the best at sign after English, however it takes a while to get into my 'sign brain' to switch gears from verbal to visual language, and you'd be amazed how fast real signers can sign. Another aspect of ASL is that you can't just learn the language, you also have to learn about Deaf culture, to even try and understand how the Deaf see things. For instance, they call themselves Deaf as opposed to deaf and various things like that. Also there are multiple signed languages used by the Deaf and hard of hearing. Anyway I could go on and on about this.
Spanish; I've never actually really learned Spanish, nor have I had the desire to do so but I have been around enough Spanish speakers that I've picked up a fair amount of it. And there's always what I learned from Seaseme Street and other various children's shows. My room mate who was learning Spanish would ask me what things meant and sometimes I could tell her, other times I would remind her that she was the one learning Spanish and not me, I didn't know.
Italian; I am currently starting to learn Italian, I very much love Italy and hope to go there in the very near future and so I thought it prudent to have some grasp of the language. So far Italian's okay, mostly it's hard trying to retain so many words and frustrating because I don't know enough to say the things I want to, and I have the words in German. My brain thinks the German might work because it's also something that's not English. I didn't really have this problem with ASL because it's not a spoken language, however if someone makes a gesture that's also a sign I sign back to them until I remember that most people don't sign...sigh... anyway I like Italian, it's fun to pronounce, although sometimes it's hard to figure out how to pronounce because the Italians use a lot more vowels than English speakers do.
So now I am a linguistically confused girl who can count to ten in five languages(one of these is English).
Ein, zwie, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht, nine, zen.
Uno, dos, tres, quattro, cinco, seis, ocho, nueve, diece.
Uno, due, tre, quattro, chinque, sei, sette, otto, nove, deici.
do you know which is which? Obviously ASL is not up there, it's really hard to write in ASL. Also if I spelled wrong please forgive me.
I speak:
German; I took three years of German in middle school and high school, which left me at the 101 level when I took a semester in college. Yes, rather pathetic. At this point my grammar skills auf Deutsch are almost non existent, but if I'm around other German speakers I can usually remember a fair amount of vocabulary. I was told by one of my teachers that I had a very good accent and I think that helps a lot too. I know how to say the important things like "where's the bathroom?", "I love you", "where's the good chocolate?" and a drinking song or two to sing with some non alcoholic beverage.
ASL; also known as American Sign Language. Technically I don't speak it, no one does, we sign it. I've been interested in sign since I was a kid and I've wanted to learn for a long time, I thought about taking it for the language requirement in college but upon learning that it would take more classes to get the requirement in ASL than in other languages, I resorted to German; however, after my first semester of German, it didn't fit into my schedule and so I decided to go for ASL. I have LOVED ASL, though I am by no means fluent, I almost feel that I can express myself better in sign than it English. I took five semesters of ASL, all that was offered at my school and got the language requirement. I'm probably the best at sign after English, however it takes a while to get into my 'sign brain' to switch gears from verbal to visual language, and you'd be amazed how fast real signers can sign. Another aspect of ASL is that you can't just learn the language, you also have to learn about Deaf culture, to even try and understand how the Deaf see things. For instance, they call themselves Deaf as opposed to deaf and various things like that. Also there are multiple signed languages used by the Deaf and hard of hearing. Anyway I could go on and on about this.
Spanish; I've never actually really learned Spanish, nor have I had the desire to do so but I have been around enough Spanish speakers that I've picked up a fair amount of it. And there's always what I learned from Seaseme Street and other various children's shows. My room mate who was learning Spanish would ask me what things meant and sometimes I could tell her, other times I would remind her that she was the one learning Spanish and not me, I didn't know.
Italian; I am currently starting to learn Italian, I very much love Italy and hope to go there in the very near future and so I thought it prudent to have some grasp of the language. So far Italian's okay, mostly it's hard trying to retain so many words and frustrating because I don't know enough to say the things I want to, and I have the words in German. My brain thinks the German might work because it's also something that's not English. I didn't really have this problem with ASL because it's not a spoken language, however if someone makes a gesture that's also a sign I sign back to them until I remember that most people don't sign...sigh... anyway I like Italian, it's fun to pronounce, although sometimes it's hard to figure out how to pronounce because the Italians use a lot more vowels than English speakers do.
So now I am a linguistically confused girl who can count to ten in five languages(one of these is English).
Ein, zwie, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht, nine, zen.
Uno, dos, tres, quattro, cinco, seis, ocho, nueve, diece.
Uno, due, tre, quattro, chinque, sei, sette, otto, nove, deici.
do you know which is which? Obviously ASL is not up there, it's really hard to write in ASL. Also if I spelled wrong please forgive me.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
"to be or not to be, that is the question..."
first off, there are fifty bonus points to whomever can tell me the origins of the title of this post.
Moving on to the purpose of this post. Facebook, the craze that's sweeping, not just the nation but, the world. I held out on getting it for quite a while after hearing about it, I don't remember what brought me around to it...probably some boy... but I have since converted and spent countless unproductive hours on the site. In my defense it is about the only way I get any contact with two of my very good friends, both of whom live in different states from me. It is not all unusual for me to spend at least a half an hour on the site and to check the site quite frequently during my day, especially when bored or putting off homework.
It's rather remarkable how the site has evolved, when I first joined it was mainly a college thing, gradually high schoolers joined and the odd person's mom (the amount of people's mom's was small not the people themselves being small) but now I have uncles and aunts on and even cousins who are under 10. It's a crazy world we live in.
I have been taking a few days off of facebook, for various reasons, and I had originally intended to stay away all week, but now on day four, I'm think of calling it quits. I would feel pretty dumb if I did but at the same time it seems that whether I like it or not, a lot of my social interaction takes place on the internet. Now that I think about it though, the first week of the new semester was not the best choice of times to quit, maybe I could try it again later when my routine's settled and I know people in my new classes or something. We'll see...
Moving on to the purpose of this post. Facebook, the craze that's sweeping, not just the nation but, the world. I held out on getting it for quite a while after hearing about it, I don't remember what brought me around to it...probably some boy... but I have since converted and spent countless unproductive hours on the site. In my defense it is about the only way I get any contact with two of my very good friends, both of whom live in different states from me. It is not all unusual for me to spend at least a half an hour on the site and to check the site quite frequently during my day, especially when bored or putting off homework.
It's rather remarkable how the site has evolved, when I first joined it was mainly a college thing, gradually high schoolers joined and the odd person's mom (the amount of people's mom's was small not the people themselves being small) but now I have uncles and aunts on and even cousins who are under 10. It's a crazy world we live in.
I have been taking a few days off of facebook, for various reasons, and I had originally intended to stay away all week, but now on day four, I'm think of calling it quits. I would feel pretty dumb if I did but at the same time it seems that whether I like it or not, a lot of my social interaction takes place on the internet. Now that I think about it though, the first week of the new semester was not the best choice of times to quit, maybe I could try it again later when my routine's settled and I know people in my new classes or something. We'll see...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
thoughts
I've been thinking, last night I saw The Dark Knight for the first time last night, yes I know it's shocking that I haven't seen it before now, at any rate, I noticed something about it. It was very dark. I don't mean to be Captain Obvious, I have been told for months now that it is a dark movie, that's not the dark I'm talking about. The movie itself is dark, there are hardly any colors in the movie at all, and what colors there are, are dark. Whoever was responsible for that was quite a genius. Everything in Gotham seems depressing and hopeless because there is no light in Gotham. It's dark and dreary. Batman Begins is dark, but not so dark as The Dark Knight, the darkness and shadow are less as well, there's some color in parts of the movie. It's visual tricks. Color, light and shadow do matter, and they do influence how you feel.
I personally do not love being made to feel hopeless, I much prefer to have hope, to know that there's a happy ending coming. I was looking at some of the works of Albrecht Durer this morning and the difference is amazing. Even in his work Christ as the Man of Sorrows, A flayed and beaten Christ is shown, and while such might have every cause for despair, he is merely sad. Sad but still hopeful. I must confess I get more pleasure from such a painting than from the movie.
I personally do not love being made to feel hopeless, I much prefer to have hope, to know that there's a happy ending coming. I was looking at some of the works of Albrecht Durer this morning and the difference is amazing. Even in his work Christ as the Man of Sorrows, A flayed and beaten Christ is shown, and while such might have every cause for despair, he is merely sad. Sad but still hopeful. I must confess I get more pleasure from such a painting than from the movie.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
A New Year
A very Happy New Year to you.
It's the time of year when people are making resolutions about losing weight or whatever, by February they'll be all over. It's kind of dumb. Why do people feel that it's only on New Years that they can make some improvement in their lives? and that once they blow that then they're off the hook until next year. Maybe that's part of what ails people, they give up really easily and don't try to be better.
I think that if you really want to change, there's no reason why today or any other day of the year can't be the day. If you slip one day, there's always tomorrow etc.
so don't put off whatever it is you want to do. If you really want to do it, then do it!
It's the time of year when people are making resolutions about losing weight or whatever, by February they'll be all over. It's kind of dumb. Why do people feel that it's only on New Years that they can make some improvement in their lives? and that once they blow that then they're off the hook until next year. Maybe that's part of what ails people, they give up really easily and don't try to be better.
I think that if you really want to change, there's no reason why today or any other day of the year can't be the day. If you slip one day, there's always tomorrow etc.
so don't put off whatever it is you want to do. If you really want to do it, then do it!
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